Spiraling……………

Recently, I realized I was regressing and everything I had written about dealing with grief was no longer working. I have been spiraling, almost out of control, and all the self-help books and readings were now not applicable, and I did not have a clue on how to slow myself down or even stop myself from myself. Where do I go, and how do I stop myself from this self-destruction path I am on? These feelings are drowning me; I constantly catch my breath because I am drowning in my thoughts.

I should know better, I should be able to help myself, I should be able to manage these spiraling thoughts, but I wasn’t. On my way home last week, I was listening to Rihanna’s playlist I created (something about her voice gives me life anyway), and then I remembered that Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance-

• Denial: A temporary defense mechanism that helped me numb the initial shock of loss.
• Anger: A powerful emotion that I sometimes directed at myself, others, or the situation.
• Bargaining: A phase where I dwelled on “what if” scenarios, hoping to reverse or mitigate the loss.
• Depression: A period of profound sadness and withdrawal from daily activities.
• Acceptance: Acknowledging the reality of the loss and finding ways to move forward.

I am back and forth between Anger, Depression, and Acceptance, hence my spiraling, and so I decided to start applying some remedy, while I don’t think this would work for everyone, but it most certainly worked for me, and it made me wonder what other people are doing to deal with grief and loss. Anyhow, I figured out my trigger, channeled my thoughts towards the positive things that would happen in the future, and spent more time with my kids, forced myself to listen to books, and, surprisingly, I went back to going to church.

All of these do not take away from what I have always said, which is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve; the important thing is not letting it take over our lives, not sitting in grief. I have also accepted that spiraling is also normal as long as it is not out of control. Grief and spiraling thoughts are challenging aspects of our human experience. Understanding these emotions and implementing strategies to manage them can pave the way toward healing and resilience. By seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in creative activities, we can find a path forward, honoring our loss while embracing the future……………… Why? Because we are GRIEVING AND LIVING

If you are grieving, please know that you are not alone- I am right there with you and please ask for help and or talk to somebody…………….