When God Doesn’t Answer………………….

While chatting with two coworkers, our conversation shifted from one topic to another, and I shared my blog with them, discussing what it means to me and the reason I started writing about grief. They visited my site, read a few posts, and liked it. One of them asked if I had ever wondered why God didn’t heal my sister and what my relationship with God is like now. Then I remembered sitting at the dining table a couple of nights earlier, talking to my mom about the same thing, where she was saying she still struggles to pray and read her Bible like she used to because she once had so much faith in God’s power that my sister would be okay and the cancer would go away. We casually discussed our expectations of God and how we now realize it’s not that God can’t do it, but that he chooses not to. Only He knows why, and we must accept it as FATE, not that our Faith was not big enough. – At the request of my coworker (Ms. Jay Hill), I am writing about this.

Faith

Prayer has always been important to me—a sacred space where I share my deepest hopes, fears, and longings with God. Over the years, I’ve whispered urgent requests, pleaded for guidance, and poured out my heart in moments of both joy and despair. But some of the hardest moments on my spiritual journey have been those times when my prayers went unanswered, like my sister getting healed. I had FAITH, trusted the process, believed his words and promises, made a covenant about her healing, expected clarity, a sign, or comfort, but instead, I was met with silence.

As believers, we often quote Hebrews 11:1, the part that comforts our hearts—Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (KJV). However, what we often overlook is reading further, because verses 2-12 talk about all the people in the Bible who had faith but still died or did not receive what was promised, from Abel to Sarah. Verses 13 and onward mention that all these people had faith, but some did not get what they asked for, and some even died never receiving it—“All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.” I kept reading, and the chapter continued to discuss those who endured tough times, like Abraham, Isaac, Moses, Joseph, and others. The chapter concludes with these words: “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect” 39-40.

He did not answer………..

Basically, when we ask or request God to do something and He promises to do it, the fact that he promised to do it doesn’t mean the promises will be fulfilled within our set timeline. Simple as that. No doubt, it’s a hard pill to swallow. “Why didn’t God do it?” is a question that echoes and weighs heavily on my mind. Sometimes, I wonder whether it was something I did wrong or if my faith was lacking. During those quiet times, I realize that God’s silence isn’t necessarily rejection; even though these feelings have caused me to feel alone, even abandoned. But now? On the days these feelings start sliding back, what I do is: I recharge my faith, trusting that something bigger is at work—something I can’t see or understand right now. I also focus on noticing subtle ways God is present in the silence—a nudge to grow, to be patient, to trust, or even to change direction. Sometimes, what we see as “no answer” is actually God working quietly, preparing us for something beyond our imagination, so do not be discouraged.

Coping

1. Being Honest: admit disappointment or frustration, then try to bring those feelings into prayers/meditation, or to trusted friends who will listen without judgment.
2. Remember you are not alone: Stories of others—mine, friends, writers—remind yourself that you are not the only one who is struggling with silence from God. Let this encourage you to keep going
3. Looking for God in Everyday Moments: Every so often, what we thought was an unanswered prayer shows up as unexpected peace, a kind word, or an open door we hadn’t considered. Try to pay attention to these little gifts.
4. Continuing to Pray: Even when you are not sure anyone is listening, keep reaching out. Prayer should be about your relationship with God—one that can handle doubts and disappointments as much as gratitude.
5. Trusting There’s a Bigger Story: Faith, I’m learning, is often holding on in the uncertainty, believing that somehow, God is working behind the scenes for my good—even when we don’t have the answers we want.

I am not saying that there’ll always be unanswered prayers; instead, what I am saying is that dealing with unanswered prayers is very hard. There are days when I still feel sad, and I would cry in silence all day, sit in my thoughts, feel alone and unheard, and wonder why God would let me go through what I am going through. But in wrestling with the silence, I’ve discovered a deeper, more authentic faith—one that’s willing to live with mystery, ask hard questions (it is ok to ask these questions and feel the way you do), even in those moments; I still trust that God is present even in the silence and those moments of loneliness. I also firmly believe that while we are GRIEVING and LIVING, it should not deter or shake our Faith.