Why me????????????

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt alone, and nothing seems to go your way or nothing seems to work? Have you ever thought that everything bad that could happen always happens to you, but you know people that nothing bad ever happens to them; everything is always peachy? Well, I don’t think you are alone; I was on Instagram and, as usual, looking for some videos to lift my spirit up when I stumbled on this video of a woman talking about how we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, comparing our life experiences with others not realizing that we have different paths in this thing called Life.

I have experienced so much in my life that I often feel like no one else could understand half of it. Despite this belief, I know some individuals have faced challenges far surpassing my own. During a recent conversation with my mother, we discussed the loss of my sister, and I found myself pondering the question, “Why us?” There are families that have more children and have not dealt with illnesses like cancer or suffered multiple losses as we have. Why does tragedy seem to strike us despite my mother and sister being devout, leading exemplary lives, pursuing education, and working diligently without cutting corners?

I once had a conversation with my sister; she had just finished chemotherapy, and she was in a lot of pain; I was very sad about how badly she was hurting. I told her, “I wish we could trade places and I help with the pain she was feeling,” and her response to me was, “hell No, Gheeel, you cannot bear the pain I feel because you are not strong enough; God does not give people Cancer if they are not strong enough.” I cried that day because that day I understood her strength.

When faced with life’s challenges, we often wonder, “Why me? Why is this happening to me?” However, do we wish these struggles upon others? Perhaps, but the truth remains that the ordeal is yours alone because that is the path ordained to you. What matters most is how you respond. Embracing our individual paths and destinies is crucial — some may become presidents while others fulfill roles as janitors. An enduring image is that of former President Obama fist-bumping a janitor; both are on distinct life journeys, each fulfilling their destiny. Understanding that LIFE itself is a mysterious journey is key; some enjoy smooth paths while others face rough terrain. This distinction isn’t about superiority, but my sister wisely noted that it’s a testament to our inner strength.

Accepting this does not mean giving up; it means accepting the truth about life’s rugged and smooth paths. Some have it smooth; I happen to be among those who had it with lots and lots of speed bumps and potholes on the way, and I have decided to embrace it, take it one day at a time, and try not to stress about the things I have no control over and work on the things I can control. The day I feel like crying, I cry; the day I feel like playing loud music, I play loud music; the day I feel like being by myself, I do just that; the day I feel like doing nothing, I do absolutely nothing.

We have a lot of questions about life that we will never get an answer to that makes us very sad, but we cannot let it weigh us down even though we ponder on the “Why Me” question a lot, and I do too, but it is part of life. Grieving is a lifelong process for some people, depending on the circumstances. If you are grieving the loss of someone dear and or special to you, then we are in it for the long haul; if you’re grieving about a major life event, then you have to accept your fate and start working on moving on. Either way, no matter the reason for asking, “WHY ME?” we must remember to Live while Grieving.